The wait

Schrodinger’s Cat is a thought experiment: a cat is in a locked chamber, unobserved. According to the paradox, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time. Pregnancy is my Schrodinger’s Cat. I’ve had several miscarriages and got pregnant again during lockdown. I can’t see inside the locked chamber: the baby is there, and the baby is not there. I won’t know for sure until a scan next week. Until then, I’ve been doing meditation, playing board games, drinking weak tea: trying not to press at the edges of the chamber. You are there and you are not. Love is acceptance of not knowing and of not having control.