Trust your gut

We met on a spontaneous trip last year. Our eyes locked and we knew... although he lived in my hometown and I knew I would be back my gut was still against the idea.

We spoke constantly, FaceTimed and got to know each other over the next few months - I carried on dating people just so not to put all my eggs in one basket. That was before I went home for a ‘holiday’. He picked me up and it was instantaneous, we were inseparable. We didn’t want to spend a moment apart (more him than me!) he was intense while I resisted. But then I found it. A bunch of her stuff.

He said it was over, that she was his past and I was his future and that he wanted to make it work. She had gone home to her home country early on during lockdown and taken some of her things but clearly things remained as if she still lived there.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and carried on, until I would uncover more items and we’d have the same conversation. That was until I saw the message. ‘Love you baby’. My heart sank.

I let him convince me his story was true and that it was a one off. I left and knew something felt off, just not right and I hadn’t had the time to process. So I ended things, as I knew I had to trust my gut and I deserved better.

I still thought of him and hoped he’d realise. About 10 days later, he did and he called me late one night after he’d been drinking and said he was sorry. I began to think, maybe... again. A day later I saw her story. They were definitely still together.

Should’ve listened to my gut, and my best friends. How quickly you can go from loving someone to the thought of them repulsing you is crazy. But I’ve learned and I’m healing 🙏🏽