Seeing things clearer

I am sure that for all of us the pandemic was a time where could see things clearer and realize actually more about the people we have feelings for.
This is about a guy I’d fallen in love with a year before the pandemic. We seemed to be perfect - but we weren’t! After ups and downs - on/offs - during the pandemic I started realizing that I have to let the guy go because there wasn’t any excuse anymore, not normal life, the late answers after hours with excuses of working, being out, being busy etc. It was the time when we couldn’t use the normal life as the excuse.
Lockdown brought us deeper in touch which was toxic as he never could commit to me. After a while I questioned him and asked what exactly we were as the whole thing was like a relationship. With lockdown people started making decisions and saw that there is so much more to life than just the fast-living, unappreciated life. Wasted hearts are not okay anymore and it’s not what we need. Even fuckboys kind of realized that they needed a safe harbour in life. Moving back to families, to get motivation and energy back. But most important in lockdown we needed love!
But he couldn’t not give me any, not even in a pandemic. He still couldn’t realize what matters. Or maybe he did but he didn’t care. He couldn’t even make the decision to say, fuck my egoism, she’s still here and she’s opening her heart, I’ll take it, it’s now or never. Not even in a pandemic where everything is about life and death.
The pandemic was the time for me to let go of someone who couldn’t see my worth.
The pandemic should have been a time when we were able to focus not on the things we want to but didn’t have, but instead seeing this is what we have and should be grateful for.
With the pandemic I could let go of one of the biggest heartaches of the last year and a half, because he’s wasn’t grateful for having me and I saw what my worth is.