The stuff of novels

We fall in love slowly. On an app called Slowly, funnily enough. Anonymous letters sent with a time delay make the anticipation so much sweeter. It is a welcome distraction from the lockdown. You are mysterious to me, your letters are reflective and artful. I'm honestly intimidated at first! I am forever glad I put my worry aside to respond to your first letter.

We write each other as often as we can over the first few weeks, talking about anything and everything: music, nature, past loves, future plans. Life's big philosophical questions and the geese that chased you on your walk that morning.

I can sense the excitement from both of our sides, it's a heady feeling. Soon enough you trust me with your phone number. I am honored, and again rather jittery plucking up the courage to message you in real time. I text you internationally without thinking about it. That first day of shuffling messaging platforms is honestly fun in hindsight.

Me in the US, you in London. A 6-hour time difference that feels like nothing every time I get to see you. Sky-blue eyes, clear and bright as a crisp winter morning. A soothing, warm voice, and a joyful laugh that is beyond endearing. An astuteness and sharp wit that delights me. Your presence almost comes out of my laptop screen, I feel that connected to you. My understanding of your character and your values are now matched to this gorgeous human being in front of me. Is it any wonder that I fell in love so quickly?

Our video calls get longer each time we talk. We are open and honest in our letters, and this continues face to face, to our benefit. And goodness, you make me laugh! Hold your sides and try not to howl, laugh. This is my first relationship, and a long-distance one at that. My dreams become filled with longing for you, an aching that I've never experienced.

I feel like I'll burst if I don't express it, so I tell you I love you after three weeks. Your look of relief is so comforting as you tell me you had been keeping yourself from saying it too. As cheesy as it sounds, I already know. I can see it in the way you look at me.

The next bit is a whirlwind. This thing we have works so well over video, but what would it be like in person? Would we get on as well, physically and emotionally? We both want to know, and we decide the best thing to do is for me to come live with you for a while during those calm few months before the second lockdown. Airplane and hotel booked, I can't wait to hold you in my arms for the first time.

My family is far from in love with this idea. They are convinced that at best you'll take advantage of me, and at worst you'll chop me up and eat me. Oi! Lots of attempts at persuading me, a fair amount of tears. They don't know you like I am sure I do, trust you like I do, or they wouldn't be so fearful for my life. I admit that it's sudden, that going to you is a radical idea. Trying my best to comfort them, I explain my gut feeling that this will work out. They eventually resign themselves to checking in to make sure I haven't been cannibalized since the last time we spoke.

And then it's time! As soon as I step off the plane, everything seems to fall into place. We try to keep our distance but don't even last a full day. You show up, all flesh and muscle and energy, and we fall together like puzzle pieces. At 25 years old I make my sexual debut with you, and I never imagined it would be so beautiful and wild.

Living together is incredible. We take our time making little adventures around London where we can, and I fall in love with the city too. We update my family with pictures and calls, and they come to love you too. With you in it, our flat quickly becomes my home. 

We stay together in London until it's time to move on. You're determined for us to find a way to be together long-term without me having to leave your side, and you facilitate our move through your work. Moving country during the pandemic is challenging and full of uncertainties, but we support each other through it. Now our new place is as much home as our last one. I'm beginning to think the location has nothing to do with it.

It's been just over a year since we started dealing with the pandemic, and almost a year since that first letter brought you into my life. Even as I'm writing this, it feels like the stuff of novels. These things don't happen in real life, or at least that's what I thought before our lives intertwined. While being with you still feels like a dream, I feel awake for the first time in years. Awake, full of life, and enjoying each day together with you, whatever it brings. 

To you, mon trésor, and to many more years of laughter, love and letters.